The Arcade Fire. Even the bandname is stupid.

Waiting in line to get in the front row for a Tool show at Lowlands sucks. Not only because waiting sucks, but more so because of a little phenomenon they call ‘The Arcade Fire’.

I stood there, in the dripping rain, listening to their music for a whole hour. The sound that hit my ear drums was indescribable. Let me attempt to paint the Arcade Fire picture by telling you what I saw on the big screen outside the tent.

 

A huge stage with many musicians playing silly music that contained mostly silly instruments. The kind that only a band that feels an urge to prove ‘pop music can be serious business too’ would use. Stuff like horns, and many silly things alike. Yes kids, when watching an Arcade Fire show, chances are you will be overwhelmed with a feeling of ‘here comes the douche bag with his silly big-ass drum again’.

 

Of course matching outfits are included to ensure that ‘silly’ feel, and to emphasize the fact that ‘this really sucks’. To make sure nobody misses any of the silliness, a huge screen is mounted to the back of the stage. Imagine the guy in the back missing all the action!

 

“Wow, this asshole just walked up to the front of the stage with a huge and stupid drum”

“Fuck! And I missed that? Why?”

“Ha! I didn’t. You suck.”

 

Standing there, with your muscles cramped and your body starting to shiver from the rain, you start wondering what kind of ass likes this crap. You take a glance over your shoulder and see thousands of asses singing along. Who are these people?

 

My guess is they are the typical Arcade Fire fan. You know, the kind of person who dig bands that are called ‘The Arcade Fire’. The kind that find ‘banging a huge stupid drum whilst walking to the front of the stage in a matching outfit’ an “interesting form of expression”. The sort that reads books about coffee. Just to be in check with the latest variation of a Latte Machiatto, or something like that. People who find ‘fog’ an interesting topic of discussion. Douche bags who’d never use the word ‘douche bag’.

 

That’s what your mind starts to do when watching an Arcade Fire show without even wanting to be there. You start identifying with the people who are enjoying this shit. By the time the band is playing five minutes in overtime you hear the guy who’d been watching the show breathlessly for the full hour say his first words since you got in line.

 

“Now that’s a stupid fucking big ass drum.’

 

You see his Tool shirt. You feel at home.