Last Friday I woke up with bloodshed eyes, bathing in sweat. Now, I can't even begin to tell you about everything that happened. Mostly because it had to do with work (and my job is probably going to bore the hell out of you. But hey, it keeps me off the streets). I can tell you about something else that just recently contributed to my uneasy nights. I'd like to share a story of cold reality, misfortune and hate.

What's a better setting for this story than Christmas? I could think of lots of better settings, to be honest. But things just are the way they are. Alright, it was Friday. Here goes...

A noise penetrated the silence. A loud, annoying noise. With a grunt I could vaguely see my right arm reaching out for the source of my upcoming hellish headache. An alarm clock landed somewhere in the back of my bedroom. A few moments later, I sat upright in bed. Crap. Time for work.

Coffee. With the very same thought, I dragged myself towards the front door of my house that evening. Only a minute after I'd settled in my comfy sofa in front of the TV, the phone went. It was George.

"Black, bro! You chillin'? Great! Listen, I bought a flatscreen TV, ain't it grand?"
I was still weary from the deafening squeak with which he began the conversation, so frankly I couldn't care less.
"Great George, choke on it. Bye."
- click -
I sank back into my chair and zapped to Discovery Channel. Truly admirable how people can build a chopper from scratch in this show, I'd say it would ha...
~ rringg.
Leave me alone. Can't be bothered.
~ rrrringggg.
Holy sh... if I didn't know any better, I'd say this was the worst day in my life. Monday.
~ rrrrriiinggggg
First I'm going to punch him in the gut, then break both of his legs.
~ rrrrrr -
I'll fry his nuts and stuff them down his throat.
~ iinngggg.
And yet, his persistence is admirable. I'll be merciful and just rip his entrails out.
~ rrrr -
"What is it!"
"Thing is, the TV is still at the store. That box is huge, I couldn't carry it on my bike. Can we use your car to pick it up?"

I sighed. No matter how tired or moody I was, I couldn't say no to a friend. Hence I made my way to the city. I'm usually a careful driver, but of course a misty night like this was the perfect time to get hit by another car. And that's exactly what happened. I hadn't even taken the first curve before a van, loaded with seasonal labourers, dented my car and broke the plastic of my left headlight. We pulled over.

Calm, Bastian, calm... calm, calm, calm. Think happy thoughts.
"Hello."
I slowly got out of the car and found four confused and angry men standing beside it. "Did you not see us, or...?"
Yes. Question is whether you can still see me when I'm done with you?
"Yes, I did see you. But the road is big enough for both of us. You could have stayed on your side of the road, pal."
"We came from right, your fault! You gonna have to pay."
Pay for what? The dirt on that panzer tank of yours? The only thing that's damaged is your brain!
"Okay, fine. Let's fill out insurance papers. I'll call the police, they'll be here in a sec."
"Wait, police?"
[Consulting with friends in gibberish]
"No problem, we go. Merry Christmas!"

There you go. It took them only a nanosecond to be out of my sight. Incredible. I could only snigger when I saw them 10 minutes later, standing alongside the road leading towards the city. An old, grumpy officer of the law was vividly padding down stuff in his notepad. Isn't revenge sweet?

A good twenty minutes had passed before I reached George's place. Really, I love the guy. But even a clairvoyant couldn't distinguish his kitchen from city dump. The horror. It turned out that getting the TV was rather tricky, as well. There was no open parking spot at the store where he had to get it. So we clogged traffic for a minute or two. Yelling and honking drivers were losing their patience fast. Big deal, I felt more dead than alive anyway. After a swift prayer for mass diarrhoea all over the city after Christmas dinner tomorrow, we headed back to George's apartment and plugged in the xbox360. For the first time today, I was finally at ease. After a few godly hours of gaming it was time to go home again.

I pulled the car up on the driveway and turned the motor off. I paused for a bit. Before the speakers faded away, I could still hear the ever so cheerful words by the god of heavy metal.

Its over, its done
The end is begun
If you listen to fools...
The mob rules

I sighed. There was still about a week to go, but I felt I'd already survived 2007. But what are the hardships of a year compared to those of a lifetime? A shiver went down my spine. Thoughts too deep to be haunting through one's mind at this hour. A good night's rest would surely get me back in shape. I was already looking forward to Thai boxing training the next morning: I'd finally be able to relieve myself of some of the tension I built up. Today's events had shown me once more that an accident seldom comes alone, but that there's a solution for everything as well.