Emo killed my teenager
Posted by: Lex on 12/05/'08
Views: 650
So, here we are again. A 13 year old English girl has ended her life, and music gets blamed. What the fuck. Some things never change, and being a youngster who listens to edgy music will obviously for ever be a reason to kill yourself. Or to massacre a high school. And if it isn’t music, it’s movies. If not that than it’s probably video games. And within about ten years there’s something else to blame. MSN Messenger, or whatever it is that our mentally instable former hippie sellout asshole parent’s generation can't understand.
Well here’s the obvious question we all want an answer to again: where were you, you lazy freaking parents?
 
Her name was Hannah Bond, a young teenager from Kent, England. Her parents let her explore the phenomena of youthculture, and Emo seemed to suit her the best. Now us metal heads often like to rip on emo, with it’s selfpity and so on. But let’s be real, before emo it was gothic, before that numetal, and if we dig deep enough through layers of grunge, punk and the early stages of metal we end up at the very generation who is now blaming musicians to kill their kids.
Music is an artform, you don’t have to like it, that’s what great about it. Because if you get bullied at school and everyone thinks you’re a prick or a dumb bitch, and your parents are too busy with their five jobs and relation therapy, who you gonna call? Nobody. You put on a My Chemical Romance record and sooth your emotions with the feeling of not being alone. Like Korn did for our generation, and Nirvana did for the one before, all the way back to the Sex Pistols and Elvis. Nomatter if you’re sixty or twenty, you will have to agree that is was fun to middlefinger the generation above you.
 
Now. That is nothing new, I know. But reports such as this NME article piss me off so much. Here’s what that Hannah’s mom had to say:

"There are [emo] websites that show pink teddies hanging themselves. She called emo a fashion and I thought it was normal. Hannah was a normal girl. She had loads of friends. She could be a bit moody but I thought it was just because she was a teenager."
 
So in all her normality she went out, dyed her hair, listened to a My Chemical Romance cd and thought it would be a fun thing to end her life. That’s harsh.
 
But mom, what the fuck were you doing all this time? Are you really trying to convince the world that your daughter went into an overnight suicide fetish? You mean to say your daughter wasn’t unhappy at all? Is it not true that most teenagers are gravely confused and depressed at some point? Doesn’t that go away, mostly because someone tells them THEY ARE NOT CRAZY?
 
And how about this one; isn’t that exactly the thematic in emo? “I understand you”?
 
You can sit there and be angry about websites with pink teddies hanging themselves in retrospect. But maybe you should have taken poor Hannah away from that laptop and ask her what is it that motivates her to identify with these dark themes. Try understanding her instead of saying “what fun, my daugher is a moody teenager.”
 
Kids don’t kill themselves out of fashion, mom.
Hannah wasn’t crazy. She was very much unhappy and found a culture who seemed to reflect that.
 
You should have been there. All the time. Looking over her shoulder. Asking what’s going on.
 
Stop trying to find a scapegoat. My guess is that the origin of this very tragic event lies so close to yourself you are trying to hit everyone around you to hide your own shame. But please, if I’m right, be a truly brave mother and admit you have failed in some sense. Stop the useless tirade against art and maybe try opening up a dialogue on parenting.
 
My sincere condolances.

The article referred to in this column can be read here.

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12-05-2008 18:05 - Sledgehammer Messiah
Two thumbs up! I totally agree with you. Blaming an art form of negative actions of the youth is called to shaping approach by the way, which is typically American. It  I wrote about that last year in this article  (skip to the conclusion)
12-05-2008 21:32 - Niamen
Bond's father Ray explained that his daughter had had an episode of self-harm prior to her suicide, which she told him was an emo initiation ceremony.

I think you've made an understatement lex
12-05-2008 21:43 - DemonDust
I agree with Lex, art is never to blame for any action, therefore it is art dammit!
12-05-2008 21:45 - Lex
@Niamen; I read that too. "sometimes moody" my ass. Somebody should have rang some major alarmbells a long time before it could have escalated.

This is just too sad for words. It happened right in front of these parent's eyes.
13-05-2008 22:00 - Bastian Blackrain
Indeed. If a kid gets that soaked up by a culture that indeed is all about understanding one's descrepancies in life, then parents should immediately interact with their offspring. Even if it only was to just put a hand on their shoulder and sit next to him/her. Kids need their parents, especially when they're in their vulnerable teenage years. Lots of parents only see the rebellious behaviour and neglect the fact that their children crave for their attention and understanding.

My sincerest condolances.

16-05-2008 08:55 - Neurotic
Nice piece, Lex! Though there are always two sides of both stories...But I totally agree with the fact that it´s crazy tallk to blame an artform for a suicide...
21-05-2008 02:05 - LondonCustoms
Great stuff Lex!