Ahh... december. A time of laughter, presents, family, snow...
...sore throats, colds, headaches, the flu...
...christmas trees, cozy dinners and old, fat dudes who climb down chimneys. Yes, this time of year so many things happen. There is a lot to be seen and heard, too. Like the change in music.

Last weekend I was walking in the mall and suddenly I heard the voice of a childhood idol. It was George Micheal (Wham) with Last Christmas (I hear critics calling). I couldn't believe it. The first week of december and already the stores were filled with christmas stuff.
My father doesn't like metal, like I do. Whenever I'm listening to Dimmu Borgir or even Iron Maiden he always manages to stand behind me all of a sudden and mumble something like 'suicide music'. That's my dad. He always likes to comment on my music. To encourage his criticism I always turn up the volume a bit. That's the moment when he starts to grunt his way to the door. A strange man, my dad.

This morning I decided to conduct a little experiment. I searched the web for some 'christmas metal'. The results: a deathmetal version of Jingle Balls (?) (- crazy perverted people) and Joe Satriani - Heavy Metal Christmas.
Do you know that feeling of ultimate relaxation, fulfillment of peace, of extreme happiness?
Well, I didn't have that after seeing these two measily titles. There are these ultra-christian metal groups; where are they when it comes to christmas metal? Stupid hypocrites.
I guess it's up to Mariah Carey, Britney Spears and Christina Aguilera to take care of that. With a little practice, Mariah should be able to produce a nice scream (All I Grant This Christmas Is Poo), Britney should be able to join Rockbitch (Hit Me Britney Christmas Time) and Christina... well, nevermind. The thought of her singing on a metal tribute album already makes me want to cry.
Is a time of happiness and family not good enough to write a metal song for? Someone, please explain me why! Is it the christian thought behind christmas (wy helo thar...) or the flaming preaches and church-sessions? Blackmetal bands should be eager to do something with that, you'd think.

Well, dad... I guess I have to disappoint you this time. No christmas metal for you.
I just can't believe why people loathe metal so because we can't write a happy christmas song. Are they anti-metal? Are they superchristian? Hell, most of 'm are probably atheists! Or maybe even worse, extremists! We don't need that now, it's december, for crying out loud! Christmas time!

Well, I'm off to put on some Rotting Christ, because this atmosphere of anti-religion here bothers me greatly.

Sincerely,

Your BlackRain