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Napalm - I Will Never Forget Metal
“Nobody likes to see fifty year old man wearing make-up, who isn’t pumped”
            -Dee Snyder
 
Whilst a great majority of mankind would identify with this quote right up to “who isn’t pumped” part, there are few metal heads – young and old who’d laugh at the Twisted Sister frontman for saying it.
 
A saggy old dude in drag and make-up singing in a high pitched tone of voice isn’t weird, is it? Nah. The man’s a legend. And metal heads are prepared to pay to see his band. No wait, we’d consider it to be an honour to do so!
 
In this bizarre cult scene called metal, with it’s narrow mindedness, general disinterest for anything guitar and ampless, it’s grotesque homophobia, we do not even bother raising an eyebrow for Dee Snyder. Or Kiss, Marilyn Manson or Slipknot for that matter. Dressing up rules. It’s manly!
 
Over the last couple of years I’ve noticed how listening to almost nothing but metal can have a grave effect on ones state of mind. Ask a neurologist or a psychologist, and you’ll learn about the high risk of depression that is involved in over exposing oneself to aggressive music. It might be a controversy, but it’s true sadly. I’ve decided to retreat from the scene by drastically lowering my metal dosage. Nowadays I rarely listen metal. And a lot of my negative thinking and depression has subsided.
 
But when I see a documentary about Heavy Metal where’s Dee Snyder admits it’s silly to not do any pushups before dragging his expired drag queen approved tight pants wearing ass on stage to perform his music for a predominantly male audience, I can’t help but feeling I miss metal. I will never leave this weird little scene entirely. Happily I whisper: ‘anyone who finds fifty year olds in make-up singing metal classics stupid is an utter fag”.
 
As no one watched, I played old metal records and cd’s through the night.
Details Posted on Monday Oct 23rd, 2006
Writer @Lex

Tags: #metalrage
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