The last but not least of the three Gore Grind Over Europe tour bands unfortunately also agreed to do a little interview. Rectal Smegma are a bunch of nasty insane fuckers that party too hard and grind even harder. And they love grannies… Anyway, here are the answers, by vocalist Yannic (of all people…). Take delight in reading this closing feature of gory triptych, or die!
Hey Yannic, how’s life?
‘I’m doing great. Thanks for asking.’
For those not familiar with Rectal Smegma, could you introduce yourselves to our readers?
‘We are a goregrind band from Holland (Westland). We are 4 crazy motherfuckers who love to make fun and have a lots of beer and like to party.’
You guys have just released a new disc last year, what can you tell us about it regarding the recording process, record label, artwork, title and lyrics?
‘Our new record Keep On Smiling was recorded at the FJP Studio in Naaldwijk at the end of 2008, the artwork was done by JP, a mate of ours. We get our titles and lyrics from der unmensch, we give him 1 beer he give’s us 1 lyric. The record label that released Keep On Smiling is Bizarre Leprous Productions from the Czech Republic.’
What do you think is Rectal Smegma’s funniest song title, and why?
‘Well I think that would be ‘Fat Grannies Are Cool’ because it starts with: “When I was a young boy, I liked to see fat grannies as a toy…”We are busy with a video/ karaoke version of this song.’
How have the reactions to the new album been so far?
‘Pretty good so far.’
Have you actually ever seen rectal smegma? What would you do if you did? Would you touch it?
‘We have only dreamt of seeing it and we would love to play with it and lick and suck on it.’
Why did you guys decide to write the Hitler Only Had One Ball on the Colonel Bogey March tune?
‘The old bass player thought of it and it’s a nice party song.’ =8-}
What do you tell a friend or relative when they ask you what your band is called and/or what you play?
‘I tell them the name very fast like : RektaeaerSmeafda. I tell my relatives that it's noise. (but they still think it’s pretty cool haha)’
What is the dumbest anecdote you can tell regarding the touring/playing history of Rectal Smegma?
‘Man….. we could write a book about that stuff but here are some cool ones.
We all got pretty drunk and I took a piss in a washing machine after the show because I thought it was a toilet.
The guitar player got 20 beers 5 minutes before the show but he was already so pissed that he dropped all the beer on his equipment hahaha!
The drummer got so drunk that he fell from his drumstool before the show even started.’
What do you consider the highlight of your career so far?
‘Obscene Extreme in Czech and SWR Metalfest Portugal.’
What would you still like to achieve with Rectal Smegma?
‘A lot of festivals would be nice, but we also like the small ones.’
In movies, who do you prefer, Arnold Schwarzenegger or Sylvester Stallone? Motivation?
‘Fuck them I prefer Jean-Claude van Damme. He’s my Hero!!’
What is your favourite way of intoxicating yourself, and with what substances?
‘Beer and drugs that’s all I need.’
When was the last time you puked, and what was the reason for it?
‘That was after Bloodshedfest 2009 in the car of our guitarplayerman, because I had a little bit too much beer and drugs. Ha ha.’
You guys are preparing for the very first Gore Grind Over Europe tour with Rompeprop and Cliteater, how do you feel about playing on this trek and what do you expect of it?
‘We think it’s FUCKING COOL and can’t wait to get started and play with Rompeprop and Cliteater!!!!!! We hope there will be a lot of beer, drugs and chicks.’
What do you think was the dumbest question in this interview?
Do you have anything (dumb and/or intelligent) to add to this interview?
‘Peenhuit 4 life baby.’