Agony - My Turn To DieYou know the feeling of the time just crawling by? Looking at your watch every ten seconds? Well I do, and I just experienced it again. I just wormed my way trough listening to Agony and their My Turn To Die album. Released on T.F.A. Records, this boring Gothic-like album is a statement of cliché and stereo-type nonsence, from the ugly artwork to the rediculous title ("hey we haven't got a title" - "yeah just make something up that features the word "DIE" - "yeah that would be cool!"; ) and not to mention the incredibly boring work that can be heard after pressing play. A constant struggle to avoid pressing the "forward" button on your cd-player starts and is maintaned throughout the entire effort. I can not begin to describe how boring and milked this sound is.
Ok, I'll give it a shot. Imagine yourself long heavy metal songs, with mediocre sound, standart grunt ("I'm an orc!"; ), hilarious keyboard crap (teedeeeleedeedieee), uninteresting guitar riffs and even worse: uninteresting solos. A bunch of guys that look "bad ass" on the press photos, an atmosphere that probably tries to reflect forrests, autumn and ugly scadinavian people. And just when you've survived all the way up to track 5 (still proud of that, really), you sigh a relief "oh well, at least there's no god-awfull female vocals from some tall repulsive goth", and then: AHHHHHHHH NO! There it is, a woman that sounds like she has a box of kleenex down her throat. I bet she's ugly and plays keyboards... Checked the booklet... Yup!
No, I will not be gentle on this stuff. I mean, if these guys and girl are happy playing this type of music, and it's their life, sure, great for them. I just do not understand why any label would want to put this stuff out there. I mean, my neighbour's 4 year old son likes to wear his underwear over his head and pretend he's a pitbull, but that doesn't mean you should put that out to the whole world! What I'm saying here is that there's a million other bands that sound like this, but even though many would do worse, this is less than mediocre as a total piece of work, every fucking tone is predictable and the it sounds like they actually want to make you fall asleep. I'm sure it was intended as moodfull atmospheric and powerfull metal, with a band like Nightwish in mind, but it isn't. It's one out of.. AH GODDAMN THERE'S THAT WOMAN MUMBLING AGAIN! SHUT UP! SHUUUT UUUP!
Ah thanks. God damn!
Anyway, been there, heard that (a million times and a hundred times it was better), Agony is an agonizing piece of work. FOR GODS SAKE WOMAN STOP SINGING! STOP! PLEASE I BEG YOU!! Thanks... fúck!
Oh I forgot to say that they've been around since the mid-90's and they're from Czech Republic.
..they've been around and are from Czech Rep.
Do we care?
I'm not gonna say "buy this if you like orcs and ugly mumbling female side vocals", no I'm gonna say "don't buy this". It's boring, it's slow as shit and it's bad!
Mrcy - guitar / vocals
Stanley - bass/vocals
Milan - guitar
Petra - keyboards/vocals (please, no more!)
Fery - drums
1. Whatever Shall I Do
3. The Mirror Of The Night
5. Endless Remorses
6. Stronger Than You
7. Welcome To My Empire
8. My Turn To Die
9. Black Rose