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Killing Machine - Metalmorphosis
One of the most hilarious things in the world are band-bio's. My guess is they are written by stupid promo bobo dodo geeks that are hired by some other bobo jojo geek of the record companies. A lot of them claim that the cd that you just received is the best thing since boobies were invented, some of them even tell you what songs to focus on. After hearing the cd, that is most of the time some silly lowbudget Death/Grind/Punk nonsence from Reykjavik entitled "Helvete Herpes" or "Skrimborg Yak Krieg", you feel even happier. There's only one conclusion: the people who write them bio's are pooplords. Yes, it's always a good laugh to read them humbugs. The more pleased I was to read Killing Machine's bio. It reads the following:
 
"Ok, my label wants me to write a little story to go with the album. Once upon a time..just kidding.. In the Summer of 2005 I was sitting.." Before proceding to turn out to be a honest and even quite a funny monologue about his music. This is what I want to read! Aparently, Killing Machine's Peter Scheithauer (even his name, that can be translated to "Shit Holder" in Dutch, is funny), doesn't have a stupid promo bobo dodo geek to write any drivel for him. He isn't a pooplord. A good thing, I'd say. In fact, his label is the great Belgian Mausoleum records, home to many fun metal bands. The bio ends with the immortal words "Let the music speak for itself". Hail. Let's have a listen, I have a good feeling about this "Shit Holder" and his metal assault!
 
As we press play we get blown away by a classic heavy metal riff (thank you mister Shit Holder), acompanied by heavy thunder drumming courtasy of Jimmy DeGrasso, bass plucking of Dave Ellefson and a terrifying "rope 'round the 'ol nutsack" type of Rob Halfordish singing through the voice of James Rivera. If you do not like "tied nutsack" singing, skip to song 2 that is way more suitable for all ears. Not that there is something wrong with ropes around nutsacks by the way (Did I just share to much?). Throughout the album Rivera serves us a fine platter with many tastes of classic heavy metal style vocals. Good singer. All songs are a-okay. Even the handy ballad 'Redemption From Genocide' passes the guinea pig test (a test that involves me holding a live guinea pig in the palm of my hand, which gets squashed when I hear crappy music).
 
'Metalmorphosis' is nothing new, not at all. No sir. But call me "Skanky Julia" if that was the intention of this Shit Holder and his fine orchestra. Cause it's all just good metal fun. Riffs from the great 80's metal era. Every three lines Rivera sings about something that involves Wind Blowing, Riding The Stars and Crusades. It's songs about battle cries, and maybe even some swords. It's the stuff that sounds like beer. I'm sick and tired of writing the same clichés over and over again, so I'll just keep it at this: Killing Machine is fun. Heavy Metal that rumbles and thunders and just drips with Judas Priest, Megadeth and even some Maiden. Just go and buy it, if you like this kind of music. It's good value for money. If you are more into Puff Daddy, good for you. Go buy one of his albums. But I'd prefer this type of studded cod-piece metal.
Killing Machine - Metalmorphosis
70/1001Details Mausoleum
Released on Wednesday Mar 15th, 2006
Heavy Metal

Writer @Lex on Wednesday Mar 15th, 2006

Tags: #Killing Machine
Tracklisting 1. Killing Machine
2. Scarred Beyond The Black
3. Fatal Chances
4. Praise The Day
5. In For The Kill
6. Redemption From Genocide
7. Loup Garou
8. In The Storm
9. What Makes You God ?
10. Burn In The Wind
Line up Juan Garcia - guitars
James Rivera - vocals
Jimmy DeGrasso - drums
Dave Ellefson - bass
Peter Scheithauer – lead guitars