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Battered - Battered
Jozef Stalin once said: "Where's my damn toothbrush?". Now that may be true, but I don't care about Jozef Stalin's dental hygiene. I care about metal. And I'm happy to say that Battered have absolutely nothing in common with communism, let alone toothbrushes. Battered play metal. Loud metal, with a capitol L.
 
And Battered prove once again that violent agressive metal can be good clean fun. A relative new group (formed in 2004), these Norwegian düdes sat in their rehersal booth and agreed on the plan to play 'In-your-face-thrash-metal". Personally I do not care for "In-your-bellybutton-baroc-symphonies", so that's a good choice of weapon, I'd say.  Give me this kind of happy violence any day. A fine slab of metal that reminds one of all the cliché bands in the world. Grant yourself a trip down "been-there-done-that" lane with this self-titled album, and you won't be dissapointed.
 
Ten loud songs full of riffs that you've heard a million times before, predictable breakdowns and "wave your vocalchords bye-dee-bye" singing. Why would you want to listen to this stuff? The answer is easy: bands and cd's such as this are here to remind us why we have headaches on sunday morning. They're here to relieve us from the torture of listening to the local radio station at work. They're your valve in the balloon of reality. For about half an hour you don't care about the fact that the repo man confiscated your Fiat Punto. Or the fact that your mommy hates you. The fact that Brigitte that sits next to you in biology class doesn't like your new Testament patch. They are here to remind us that metal rules, and Bon Jovi sucks. Thrash metal is a bit like boobies. A lot of them look the same, but you can't really get enough of them, now can you? I've never discussed boobies with anyone when hearing the argument: "I like the fact that they're nice and round, but there are just too many that look just like them!". As long as Thrash bands have two nipples and a nice b-cup, you won't hear me complain. And there's plenty of room in Battered's metal tanktop to grow to a c or d.
 
Hail "in-your-face-thrash-metal"! It might be cliché, it might be the thirteenth egg in the thrashmetal pancake batter, but sometimes you need a black pancake. And hey, to piss of your parents, there's a really neato Hitler sample included! Stalin, eat your heart out.
Battered - Battered
60/1001Details Tabu Recordings
Released on Monday Mar 20th, 2006
Thrash Metal

Writer @Lex on Monday Mar 20th, 2006

Tags: #Battered
Tracklisting 01 Oblivion Awaits
02 New Lament
03 Demagog
04 Not One
05 The Dig
06 Industrial Killing
07 Perfect Illusion
08 Parasight
09 The Flagellant
10 Derelict
Line up Gerhard Storesund - Drums
Frode Glesnes - Guitar
Aksel Herloe - guitar
Ole Modesaeter - bass
Siggy Olaisen - vocals