Okay I know it has been over six months I did this interview, But I can’t help it either. It lasted for thirty minutes and it’s at least fifty percent nonsense. But that’s the reason I wanted to interview them in the first place. So now, all this time later, you get the result. This is an interview that most journalists would never undertake. But it has come to be exclusive now, since the predominant interviewee is Jawsh, the bassist that recently left the band (again). The others are Lenzig (vocals) and John (drums).
Another detail you should keep in mind, I brought a bong and a bag of weed to do this interview, so a lot the answers I got are either scrambled due to everybody shouting or due to coughing and the noise of bong hits. Here we blow!

So how’s the tour been?

Jawsh: The tour’s been fabulous. It’s a lot different than the tour with Brutus. We already toured the United States, we don’t know where we’re going, we don’t know how to get there, we’re just getting there and doing it. We don’t even know who we’re playing with, we just get there and play and leave for the next show.

All right then. So in the past year, has anything changed for Cephalic Carnage?

Lenzig: yeah the past year our ego’s grew and then shrunk down to nothing.

Jawsh: I changed my opinion about Nile. At first I didn’t like them because none of them are Egyptian, and now I like them because none of them are Egyptian.

(then everybody starts shouting as I mention that there’s one guy that’s from Greece in Nile now, total bullshit, get used to it because that will be the biggest part of this interview like last time)

Lenzig: no what we’re really trying to say is that we’re still the same five guys the were, and we’re just progressing in the band and going with the motion. It’s been fucking killer this far. Partying and smoking bongs with true homies.

Jawsh: I changed my shirt.

You changed your shirt…. okay. Next question then. How come Anomalies is so much more easier to listen to and comprehend then Lucid Interval?

Jawsh: Uhm we did that on purpose because Conforming To Abnormality and Lucid Interval were all very busy albums, a lot of samples, weird transitions to other tracks and hidden tracks. A lot of different layers of different things and nothing had a chance to fully grow. So this time we wanted to be more straightforward and make some songs with direction and a destination. Basically to give the listener time to take the journey. We wrote whole song around a series of riffs that co-existed and a series of riffs that clashed. Basically giving the listener the opportunity to listen to the songs and the songwriting instead of hearing all the stuff that ties the songs together.

(then follows some bullshit on that there’s no hidden track, then there is in the end of the last song when the volume comes back up, and then the first three tracks are the hidden track…)

Who wrote the bad ass stoner track Piecemaker?

Jawsh: That was Zac. He came in one day with this stoner rock riff, of which we thought would be a nice intro to the next Halls Of Amenti, but it was a bit too fast and on a different vibe. So it became a different song, and lucky for us he had already written the storyline for the song which made it complete. With the material he brought in (loud coughing, someone yelling dude and other noises scramble this part) But the one person that is 100% responsible for the song is Zac.

Thank you Zac!

(then I hear a lot of bullshit talk, someone nagging about a cd player, their producer Dave Otero allegedly wrote the entire album and John also drummed or the Secrets Chiefs 3)

When can we expect a follow up to Halls Of Amenti?

Jawsh: The Halls Of Amenti are currently in production now, we have solid movements and lyrics and subjects for the next CD. Unfortunately we are on the road now and have no time to sit down an put them all together. It’s basically the next two Halls Of Amenti’s are like a jigsaw puzzle, we just put the pieces in the box and shake it turn it around and put it together.

Lenzig: The only way to get it right is if we could write it in like an astrological chamber, that would be cool.

Jawsh: Yeah, that’s where I write most of my e-mails.

When will your DVD see the light of day?

(LOUD laughter, I guess they’re trying to find out that for themselves. I did get an answer, September, we are way past that…)

Lenzig: We’re just trying to get everything in it. Live footage, video’s, and a lot of funny shit.

I believe that! Stupid question then. In movies who do you prefer, Arnold Schwarzenegger or Sylvester Stallone?

Jawsh: Neither.

Lenzig: I would like to see Rocky versus Rambo. And then that Rocky gets the Terminator to kill him.

Haha, that would be a cool movie man! Next question, would you kill for weed?

John: Not kill but I’d fucking buy some.

Jawsh: Actually I would wash a car for weed, change oil for weed, I would uhh…

Lenzig: …smoke weed for weed.

Jawsh: grab some boobies for weed!

(then follows a discussion on what’s a better bandname; Smoke Weed For Weed or Boobies For Weed. Personally I like the second one better… and then I get interviewed…)

Jawsh: What do you think of Team America World Police?

Great movie!

Jawsh: Yes a great movie indeed. What do you think of Barry Manilow?

I think he’s a prick (while I actually have no idea who it is).

(heavy protest follows from all directions)

So John, how’s work going on those drum videos you were telling me about last time?

Hahaha, well yes, not good. I think we just need to get of our lazy asses and get some stuff done, like the DVD, the doom track and those particular videos.

(bullshit time again, about region codes for DVD players, I have one that’s region-free, and Jawsh needs to get him one of those)

Would you smoke weed with George W. Bush?

Jawsh: Yes. Uhm, personally I would take him fishing.

(why did I have to make up these stupid questions!!!!! ‘well obviously he doesn’t know shit about cars since he rides in he back all day’ and a whole lot more nonsense comes by)

What’s the most insane thing you’ve ever seen happen while on the road with Cephalic Carnage?

Jawsh: Little over a week ago on the other side of the highway we saw a truck that had an accident and there were like 5000 cases of beer all over the road. Beer and glass everywhere, it was almost like a bar. John?

John: We saw a bear on a highway that was killed by traffic once.

(then there’s something about someone grabbing a person in the crotch for something, but someone’s coughing like hell so I can’t exactly hear)

Jawsh: I once saw this crazy guy, he was really crazy, he was screaming. And then he started a fight with another crazy guy, but instead of punching each other and yelling at each other the got really quiet. They just sat down and looked at each other…

Lenzig: …and wrote each other letters about how mad that they were, getting each other mad. It was really frustrating.

(here I have severe problems with holding back my laugh, but I regain my seriousness for as far as possible and continue the interview)

Tell me about growing weed in the Rocky Mountains!

Lenzig: I love it! I grow in like my backyard. And when I’m at home…

(and then there’s a bong hit really near the recorder, probably me…sorry!)

Jawsh: I grew a plant once on my attic, but only one bud showed up. So I smoked the bud, but it didn’t get me high. I was more high on the fact that I was smoking my own weed. But it was worth it.

(pffff, nonsense about getting weed for Christmas, and otherwise you’ll get something you didn’t want anyway…?)

Do you think that it’s possible to create banana flavoured weed and more importantly, would you enjoy it?

Jawsh: Yes absolutely!

You like banana’s?

Jawsh: Yes I like banana’s, unless they’re bruised. I prefer them plain yellow. I think that would be a great idea, very enjoyable, because we all like the chewy banana sticks around Halloween. But if you could smoke that, oh have you heard that from smoking banana peels you could die? So if you can smoke banana flavoured weed without having to worry about dying, that would be the death of you.

Lenzig: Yeah I think you have to be able to go to the store and buy chocolate flavoured weed or whatever.

(we discuss the flavoured rolling papers we have here in Holland, and what everybody prefers, joints or blunts, with out without tobacco, grapefruit flavoured weed?)

Do you consider that the next album will be a whole lot more hectic than this one?

Jawsh: The next album is gonna sound just like System of a Down’s Mesmerize. Actually we gonna try to get it out before Mesmerize. Yeah we wanna go on that path. So if we release our Mesmerize before they do, we’re gonna get their fan base and that puts us in the position to make A LOT of money. Oh my god the writing process, talking to chicks, being hot topic finally…

Lenzig: Getting played on MTV!

Jawsh: Getting played on MTV, aside from that the one rotation (a real fast business story about how and why they’re gonna be on MTV with their Mesmerize) Did you get all that?
Uhm, Matt from Relapse told me to mention Relapse at least once in every interview I do.

So, how is it possible for you guys to play all those fucked up songs while being stoned?

John: I don’t think we’re that tight at all. But we write them stoned, we rehearse them stoned, so we have to play them stoned. When we play them sober, they sound like shit.

Jawsh: Like when you study for a test stoned and you take it sober and you fail, hard. Ou have to take the test stoned, because you studied it stoned.

(then we talk about a problem Jawsh had with the show at 013 while playing Piecemaker, his effect pedal malfunctioned and made a krr krr kind of noise, while him claiming that he did that on purpose, that he has a krr krr noise making pedal)

(someone leaves and Jawsh remind him not to tell anyone about the System of a Down situation because it’s just a inside joke between him and Serj)

(then there’s Jawsh calling me a wooden shoe bastard, so I ask him if he likes tulips. At first he doesn’t understand, but when I repeat he replies that he’d like two of my lips on his dick, to which I reply: who doesn’t! To which more workshop floor humour follows)

( we continue the nonsense by Jawsh saying that this interview might be a good movie script, to which I reply that it would be a real bad movie, like Tom Green bad, to which a Tom Green and others conversation follows)

Okay, time for another question then. How come Anomalies has a way more brutal sound than Lucid Interval?

Jawsh: We had ironically more less time to record this one but more time to concentrate on the guitars, so the drums, we did those in about 45 minutes, and then the bass was done in about half an hour, the vocals were done in one day, so the next four weeks and three days we concentrated on the guitars. Pre-amp the guitars four or five times per track, record each note individually, so they would come in and record an A, and the next day they’d record a B, and they put them all together.

So the answer is…?

Jawsh: Basically more time. Last time we were like recording and recording and recording and then we running out of time so lets do it now. This time we had way more time to mix.

Okay, so what’s your favourite movie?

Jawsh: Really really good question.

Is it a cartoon?

Jawsh: My life is a cartoon! My favourite movie… it’s so hard because there’s so many of them. It’s like asking what’s your favourite band, or what’s your favourite song. Snatch, fucking Lord of the Rings extended versions, Spiderman one, two was all right.

John what’s your favourite movie?

Jawsh: John’s favourite movie is Priscilla: Queen of the Desert

(blablablablablablablablablablablablablablablablablablablablablablabla)

(then I get a phone call from he poor people that are waiting for me downstairs which whom I have to drive home with, but I have one more question left)

If there was no metal or weed on this planet what would you be doing?

Jawsh: Working on cars and listening to country music.

Lenzig: Fucking more chicks, listening to Within Temptation….

I told you Within Irritation!

Jawsh: Hahahaha!

John: I’d probably sit on the couch and smoke weed all day.

Jawsh: Yo there’s no weed or metal.

John: Oh, I’d be drunk a lot probably.

Jawsh: I’d be doing a lot of cocaine.

(then they start the same joke as last time that they’re gonna be on the cover right? Since it’s a website they want to be on he homepage, right? At first I fall for it again, but I recover myself. After this there is a lot of singing and screaming)

Say our last words right in here:

Lenzig: The other day I was walking, into a bar, and it really hurt. Yeah, it fucking hurt. Yeah, but actually it would be cool if more Dutch people got into hockey because you have some of the worlds fastest ice skaters and in-line skaters, well field hockey whatever, it just needs to be bigger here. And support brutal death metal, you know hockey still rules, and it would be cool if you guys supported it a little bit more. I know once you watch it, you’ll love it. You’ll like it. Having fun, under the sun, grabbing some bun. You should fucking like metal that’s… brutal.

I have to go now.

Right on! Support the metal!

(pffffffffffffffffffff this is too much nonsense for me to handle! But still this is one of the coolest bands I ever met and I love all of them. I just wish they would come over here a little more often.)