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Cephalic Carnage - As obnoxious as their music
This was the second time that I interviewed a band. And there’s quite a story to tell after you interview members of Cephalic Carnage. Normally when you type out an interview, you have the question – answer set-up. But not with Cephalic Carnage, they’re as obnoxious as their music, so said Zac (guitar) It was my fault partially, I interviewed John Merryman (drums) in Arnhem, but without a tape recorder, because the batteries were dead. And I got too wasted that night to remember much. So I interviewed them again, only this time there were more people involved in giving answers. And what bullshit they told me, hard to imagine. The first part was reasonably serious, but after we smoked a joint, which we had too do outside, I was left alone with Zac and Jawsh (bass), two of the goofiest people I’ve ever met. I’ve tried to take out as much bullshit as possible, but there will be a lot of it left, so just read between the lies… So here it comes; the wicked world of Cephalic Carnage! When asked what the worst thing about touring was, Jawsh answered that he couldn’t shower, because he needed to have shower for himself, one that other people couldn’t use. For the rest it just was the usual being away from home, friends and family stuff. The best thing was meeting cool new people, smoking a lot of weed and driving interviewers insane with stupid answers (remember that one!). Like they did somewhere in Scandinavia, where they drove an interviewer insane with stupid answers, he absolutely hated them. To me, it was really amusing to do an interview like this. The next question was for Lenzig (vocals). Every time you do an interview, do you have to think about the lyrics to the track “Redundant”? He answered that he just wanted to write a song that’d be cool to journalists. He ran a magazine, which was hard work and eventually became redundant. He would joke around with the band he was interviewing and they didn’t like that, having to wait hours before the bands showed up, stuff like that. When asked about the follow-ups to the doom metal mini-album “Halls Of Amenti” they responded that nothing really had been done yet, there are two minutes written and that’s it. There are a lot of ideas though, but nothing more. After that question was answered Inhume bass player Loekie entered the room and the interview was paused. In that pause a lot of stuff happened. Cephalic Carnage received some bottles of “Duvel” beer from Loekie and some chatting went on. Jawsh told me that he ran a diving school, which is bullshit. I asked them if they wanted to smoke a joint, because I had a pure one this time (they don’t like combining tobacco and weed, crazy Americans). They agreed and we stepped outside into the freezing night to smoke. Now there was like the tiniest bit of tobacco in that joint, and that little bit made Lenzig throw up! Weird guy. After some more smoking and spanking each other with backstage passes we went back inside, were I was left alone with Zac and Jawsh. Let the fun begin! I asked what “Halls Of Amenti” meant, and Zac told me that it were halls were the plant mint was richly foraging, which I presume is bullshit. He did know it had something to do with the hidden archives of the evolution of man, but that was all he could inform me with. Any other (serious non-bullshit) titles for the follow-ups weren’t set yet. About their DVD, they said that none of them had actually seen the footage, but they heard it was ass-kicking. They didn’t know what would be on it, but John told me in the first interview that there would be parts of a freak show on it, the videos for “Redundant” and “Lucid Interval” and an entire live performance, which was according to them the best show ever. The DVD was going to last about two hours. Zac and Jawsh didn’t know if it would be released through Relapse or on their own. At this point the bullshit thrown at me was getting too much, so I said something about it. They just answered that I had to read between the lines to find the truth… Yeah right. I asked about side projects, and a whole bunch of bullshit came out again. Zac was in a side project named Apples Are Oranges (don’t tell him there’s a fucking difference!) and Jawsh had a twenty year running solo project that had finished 2 songs. John and his dad didn’t speak anymore (John is in a jazz/fusion band with his dad he told me in the first interview, so this answer is rubbish as well) and he completely broke down after he helped the Secret Chiefs out. Wouldn’t eat wouldn’t sleep, didn’t talk to anyone anymore, bla bla bla. At this point I knew they were lying, because I asked John about that before (he only did the really tricky parts for that cd) and when I told them they were a bit disappointed that they got caught, but they continued to throw al kinds of ridiculous answers at me. Funny! Lenzig entered the room and I asked him the next question, what the meaning behind the name Cephalic Carnage was. The slaughter of the brain he answered, that later turned into the slaughter of the brain due to mass inhalation of cannabis. Yes these guys used to be straight edge! Definitely not anymore. The next question was answered quite seriously I believe…you just can’t tell. The thought behind the artwork of the “Lucid Interval” album was the eye of the storm. Their idea actually was the calm before the storm, but the hired artist didn’t really like that idea so he changed it a little. They let me take a look myself at the booklet, and they showed me that there were a whole lot of smaller images in the big image of the wounded head. All kinds of pictures of war, death, disease and things like that. Conjoined foetuses, a civil war death certificate, burning crosses, a dog licking a girls ass(?), all very interesting. I was told there were a 180 images used, but that might be bullshit. When asked if it was hard to use so many guest musicians (13 in total), it just wasn’t. Zac wasn’t even there for any of that because he was working. Most of the musicians lived in the area so it wasn’t that much trouble. And no tracks are impossible to play live due to that or any other reason (except for Cannabism, which is being sampled at live performances). At his point I asked them to stop fucking with my brain with their idiotic answers, telling the truth, with a lie about it, using all kinds of complicated words (like spontaneous combustion!), making it hard for my stoned Dutch brains to follow them. They responded that they just wanted to entertain the interviewer and that there was evidence of the truth in the answers. They just didn’t like talking about themselves. Back to the interview. The band that they really would like to play with: The Donnas! Because they look so soft and pretty, not like Courtney Love, she looks like a bruised banana. But seriously, names like Fantômas, Napalm Death, The Locust and even a Faith No More reunion were mentioned. After that we got seriously for a moment and Zac said that I should edit all his answers out. I replied that I wasn’t a moron, so they started to fake-complain about name-calling. Idiots! Somewhere at this point my recorder had thirty seconds left (and I had a whole lot more questions left) so I said if any of them had something important to say, say it now. The first thing that Zac said was; “I love you mom”. Jawsh said: “be yourself, not who I want you to be”. Then changing it into “be who I want you to be”. Then Zac said: “don’t eat the yellow snow” (which seems to be a song by Frank Zappa…?). The last words on my taperecorder are “Muppet Show rules, Muppet Show rules!!”. So there you have it. I don’t know what parts are the truth, I just know that this was one of the craziest nights of my life, especially after I dislocated my shoulder later that night and a whole lot more terrible crap. And I didn’t even mention them making me pay for their free beer, Jawsh acting like something’s wrong with him by falling of his chair and acting weird, Jawsh’s beard-comb and other bullshit. Afterwards Zac told me that he had been friends with Jawsh all his life, so this is what you get. Well, I hope to speak to them again soon, because they just stole my heart with this interview, hahaha!!! Cephalic Carnage: Lenzig – vocals Zac – guitar Steve – guitar Jawsh – bass John – drums