Bon Jovi. Beavis hated them, Butt-Head hated them even more. All  the reasons one needs to hate them, I'd say. But well, to be honest my sister used to be a big Bon Jovi fan and I did borrow Slippery When Wet once or twice when I was tiny. But that was before Beavis and Butt-Head got aired. So yeah. Right.

 

All in all it wouldn't be fair to bash this cd. Fuck Beavis. There, I said it.

 

After a hardly interesting version of 'Living On A Prayer' by the legendary Derrick Lefevre (who doesn't know this man, fronting the great Lilian Axe? Who? Napalm Lex is his name), it's a nice surprise with the soothing voice of singer/songwriter Jasy Andrews accompanied by her own pianospiel. According to the bio, Andrews is an upcoming star who you might have heard on ' A Tribute To Tina Turner', 'A Tribute To Guns N Roses' and 'A Tribute To Bon Jovi'. A great voice for sure, but I'd like to advice Jasy to start getting a carreer off the ground before we hear her enchanting vocals on 'A Tribute To Dries Roelvink'. 

Richard Kendrick's (infamous from 'tribute to Steve Vai', ' tribute to 'The Cult' and of course 'tribute to Van Halen') evenly forgettable performance of  'Blaze Of Glory' aside, Tony Janflone Jr. manages to give a nice but hardly shocking bluesy edge to 'Dead Or Alive'. Now here's a guy who actually released a whole bunch of cds (but didn't miss the epic 'tribute to Tina Turner' nor 'tribute to Joe Satriani), besides opening up for B.B. King, Steely Dan and many more impressive artists. 

Jani Lane fronted Warrent back in the eighties. Jani Lane sold more than 10 million albums. Jani Lane covers 'Lay Your Hands On Me' (consider the schoolboy naughtiness of the title!). Jani Lane does this quite well. Jani Lane wears puffy blonde hair with a bandana, and a leather vest. But above all: Jani Lane is a dude. And is currently only known from some Bon Jovi tribute cd. Nuff said.

One Bad Son are a band from Canada, have an average age of 50 and have a front man listening to the name of  Shane 'The Impaler' Volk. They were on 'A Tribute To Van Halen'. Considering their ear popping performance on 'A Tribute To Bon jovi', I doubt Eddie Van Halen felt flattered.

Corey Craven is one of hard rock's best-kept secrets. So says the bio. Still this far from eyebrow-raising guitarist featured on 'A Tribute To The Cult', 'A Tribute To Joe Satriani', 'Tribute To Van Halen' and 'A Tribute To Guns N Roses'. I sense a pattern here.

John Corabi is probably best known from his partnership in Brides Of Destruction. Since this reeks of an actual musical career that might be read as 'impressive', his version of 'Born To Be My Baby' has got mixed in softer than the other songs. 

We've never heard of Jason Andrews have we? Just like we've never heard of Jasy Andrews, who does some harmonies on this cover of  'Stick To Your Guns'. Bet he features on a bunch of Tribute albums. 

With Jizzy Pearl we finally have an artist who might ring more than a handful of bells as he sang for LA Guns, RATT and some project with the Steve Adler. Speaking of Adler, sadly Pearl can't be heard on 'A Tribute To Guns N Roses'. Rest assured, he does shine on 'A Tribute to The Cult'. Thank god.

Colie Brice has serious issues, of a somewhat constipated nature. I haven't heard such unfulfilled longing to poop in ages. His version of 'Always' is utterly lactose intolerant. He lived next door to Bon Jovi himself. People get record deals based on that? Hey I live next to Dries Roelvink's cousin!

The Issues are supposedly a punk rock group. Still, they feature on 'A tribute to Bon Jovi'. Andrew Walker sings in some band called Die Dramaqueen Die. But even Bon Jovi couldn't have overacted such a dramatic version of 'Never Say Goodbye'.

 

There, the cd ended.

Another cd reviewed. I'm going to take a shit now. A tribute to my rectum. Bye bye.